I’m so sorry
I guess I have been too much pay my allegiance to the formula of failure which is to please everybody…except myself. Thus in the process I’ve been missing so many things that most of the time important for those I wanted to please. I feel bad because of it. Now I want to make a bit of paradigm shift inside of me, in other words a self reform.
It sounds nice to please everybody. It certainly sounds noble but the truth is it’s not. The more I want to please everyone around me, the more I will hurt them and much importantly I am the one who hurt the most. Why? Because “everyone/everybody” is just too many to cope with.
In analogy, it would be like a inquisitive little boy who wanted to learn and master everything under the sun and on the earth. Utterly unwise and crazy. Maybe the boy can master a few but let others handle the rest.
I missed so many things and I hurt so many peoples/friends/etc. I am sorry. I can’t be ‘more’ perfect (which made it sound like I am perfect). That’s why I always dream to be nobody. Because in this real world nobody is perfect.
To be honest, when I hurt somebody, and when I realized that they were hurt because of me, I was twice as hurt. No words can be uttered to portray my sorry.